the flow of His life
may 6 will mark one year of livin in the ham. it's been quite a journey and i'm so thankful for the experiences that i have had here so far. blessings have been overwhelming - a wonderful church, a transparent pastor, awesome friends...just to name a few.
at the same time, it has been a very challenging year. trials, unmet expectations, disappointments, failures...but i would have to say that all of these have brought me back down to my knees in total surrender...a place i desire to remain. katie b has been walking me through the gracelife studies and steps to freedom (the stuff she did last summer in Charlotte) which has been AMAZING. i am beginning to learn to really bank on the TRUTH of who God is and who He says I am. slowly but surely, God is showing me how the truth, HIMSELF, is so essential to ALL OF LIFE.
The Lord is in charge of my heart, my life, and IS intimately involved with every detail. if you wear glasses, you will understand this illustration...have you ever looked through your glasses backwards? you can still see...but everything looks a little warped. I think God has taken my "glasses" off and put them back on correctly this year. it's funny how warped our "vision" can be and we aren't aware of it until the glasses are put on correctly. not to say that i see things totally clear now because CLEARLY i continue to make mistakes!! but i know that in "repentance and rest is my salvation". and God is so faithful to His promises, His pledges to us. He still loved me even when I pushed Him away. and no human being is capable of loving like that.
Something has been stirring in me the last few weeks...a deep longing for something more...I wish I could play Sara Groves's "Maybe There's A Loving God" - it is my favorite song of all time and i feel like it captures what i have been experiencing/feeling. I couldn't put my finger on it for a while, but it was STRONG. It has made me want to drive really fast, stand in the pouring rain, smoke a million cigars, turn the music up way too loud...anything extreme. And yesterday it hit me...it is, of course, GOD Himself! I want to feel so alive. HE IS LIFE. I want more. HE IS MORE. I want to be part of something larger than myself. GOD AND I HAVE BEEN JOINED TOGETHER AND I AM A PART OF HIS STORY.
Once again, Jesus i welcome the flow of Your life through me! I welcome disappointments, I welcome failures, I welcome unmet expectations, I welcome blessings, WHATEVER it takes to know You and the power of Your gospel. Surely, You are in me, and there is no other, no God besides You! May old habits be broken and ways of finding life apart from You be blocked! May all my unmet longings be satisfied in You!! Please instill in me a patience to wait for Christ to work in my heart as You woo me into your everlasting faithful loving arms. May i walk away from idols by focusing on YOU JESUS, and the wonder and the beauty of Christ. YOU are my beauty, You are my only delight, my ROCK my REDEEMER!!
at the same time, it has been a very challenging year. trials, unmet expectations, disappointments, failures...but i would have to say that all of these have brought me back down to my knees in total surrender...a place i desire to remain. katie b has been walking me through the gracelife studies and steps to freedom (the stuff she did last summer in Charlotte) which has been AMAZING. i am beginning to learn to really bank on the TRUTH of who God is and who He says I am. slowly but surely, God is showing me how the truth, HIMSELF, is so essential to ALL OF LIFE.
The Lord is in charge of my heart, my life, and IS intimately involved with every detail. if you wear glasses, you will understand this illustration...have you ever looked through your glasses backwards? you can still see...but everything looks a little warped. I think God has taken my "glasses" off and put them back on correctly this year. it's funny how warped our "vision" can be and we aren't aware of it until the glasses are put on correctly. not to say that i see things totally clear now because CLEARLY i continue to make mistakes!! but i know that in "repentance and rest is my salvation". and God is so faithful to His promises, His pledges to us. He still loved me even when I pushed Him away. and no human being is capable of loving like that.
Something has been stirring in me the last few weeks...a deep longing for something more...I wish I could play Sara Groves's "Maybe There's A Loving God" - it is my favorite song of all time and i feel like it captures what i have been experiencing/feeling. I couldn't put my finger on it for a while, but it was STRONG. It has made me want to drive really fast, stand in the pouring rain, smoke a million cigars, turn the music up way too loud...anything extreme. And yesterday it hit me...it is, of course, GOD Himself! I want to feel so alive. HE IS LIFE. I want more. HE IS MORE. I want to be part of something larger than myself. GOD AND I HAVE BEEN JOINED TOGETHER AND I AM A PART OF HIS STORY.
Once again, Jesus i welcome the flow of Your life through me! I welcome disappointments, I welcome failures, I welcome unmet expectations, I welcome blessings, WHATEVER it takes to know You and the power of Your gospel. Surely, You are in me, and there is no other, no God besides You! May old habits be broken and ways of finding life apart from You be blocked! May all my unmet longings be satisfied in You!! Please instill in me a patience to wait for Christ to work in my heart as You woo me into your everlasting faithful loving arms. May i walk away from idols by focusing on YOU JESUS, and the wonder and the beauty of Christ. YOU are my beauty, You are my only delight, my ROCK my REDEEMER!!
posted by Susan Gordon at 11:13 PM
1 Comments:
Susan, you are so precious. This is so encouraging, and such a great place to be. Don't you love it when God takes you to a place of complete abandonment!
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