to own a dragon

It's late...well early... and I just finished donald miller's new book To Own a Dragon. And in finishing it, I feel like I have just sat down with an old friend to catch up on life. the book is a reflection on growing up without a father. even though i have a great dad i still feel thoroughly blessed by this book.

don [i address him as if he is a close friend. he is. ha] tells a story about a documentary he watched about elephants in Africa. I think there is a lot to be learned from an elephant. anyway, during the "teenage" years of elephant life, the boy elephants were experiencing feelings of frustration and dealt with them violently and aggressively. during this short period of time (only lasting a few days usually) the elephants seem to have forgotten how to be elephants. don says "i couldn't help but identify...there have been times in my life when I didn't know exactly how to be. I mean there were feelings, sometimes anger, sometimes depression, sometimes raging lust, and i was never sure what any of it was about. I just felt like killing somebody, or sleeping with some girl, or decking a guy in a bar, and I didn't know what to do with any of these feelings...I wasn't sure how to...well, be a man." back to the elephants - during this period of frustration, the male departs from his mom in search of an older male elephant, a mentor, as don puts it. when the elephant finds a mentor, this "musth" or "adolescent" cycle ends. "the older and younger begin to travel together, to find food together, to protect each other - the older one teaching the younger what elephant strength is for, and how to use it for the benefit of himself and the tribe. watching television that night, i wondered if humans aren't like that, too. i began to wonder if we guys weren't meant to have a father, whose very presence would cause us to understand more accurately what our muscle is for, what we are supposed to do with our energy." (chapter two)

later on in the book, he parallels this story with the "pagans" of romans 1...they decided against God, they did not control themselves, and gave themselves over to the lusts of their flesh...."they didn't know how to be humans, really"

"relationships unlock certain parts of who we are supposed to be...being in a relationship with God helps us understand who we are and become who we are designed to become. and so in a way, it seemed like God was supposed to be the bigger, older elephant to those guys who were messing everything up in Rome. And the reason they were messing up their lives because they didn't want anything to do with Him."

in the acknowledgements at the end of the book, miller includes a list of musical artists that he listened to while writing which includes sara groves (MY HERO!), johnny cash, david wilcox, ben harper, derek webb, jars of clay, u2, gary jules, ray charles, lyle lovett bob schneider, ryan adams, willie nelson, jeff buckley, the waterboys, the alarm, big head todd, mogwai, kanye west, audioslave, the blind boys of alabama, and beck. Don made an I-Mix on I-tunes called "to own a dragon" that includes some of these artists...it's really good. i feel like it makes the truths and stories of this book sink down deeper.